adjustment.


My heart is a construction site. 

It echoes like a drill in my chest 

Slowly coming apart 

I sigh deeply 

Pushing back the tears that have been welling in my eyes for weeks

I pace my room 

Gathering courage to leave it. 

Everything in here

And everything out there 

Makes me see you

I’m frantically searching for a way 

To untangle you from me 

I dissolve into numbness 

And then implode into emotion

And somehow I can only remember your smile 

Nothing makes sense and the world is upside down 

I move things, in my mind… Like furniture

Rearranging it, and throwing things out in hopes of unloving you 

Something that my blood knows it could never do 

It feels like I’m walking barefoot 

On a cold and broken ground 

And whether I’m walking towards the light or the darkness 

My bones weep silently, the further away they move from you