There is one lesson that has been taught to me loud and clear this year. Just be yourself. And I don’t think I got it until now (well not now now, that’s a lie but recently). Every decision I made, everything I did was so tirelessly calculated although I made it seem otherwise. I opened my heart to few… very very few and sat alone in darkness wishing for freedom. And you know what, I could have just given that freedom to myself.
I made so many mistakes (it is actually quite ridiculous) mostly because I was so conscious about what people thought about my decisions. But. WHY? Why did I even care, my decisions are well my decisions. I’m human, and I’m a woman. Sometimes the latter makes the world more judgemental towards me, sometimes it makes me more judgemental towards me, and I’m just so tired of taking myself so freaking seriously. So, now that I have ranted… this is what I wrote for myself for this new year…
There is no use.
No use of telling myself I’m going to do things I’m not sure I’ll get around to doing. So instead, I open my arms to the universe and say… COME AT ME!
I call upon blessings, but I will not be distracted if challenges come with them, I welcome love and I am ready for heartache, I invite friendship and won’t become bitter from loss. I will live in my own truth and won’t let my spirit be disarmed by others. I will say yes and no at my own discretion, loudly and clearly.
I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful for my family. I am grateful that in such a cruel world I can still laugh with the wind and love fiercely. I am grateful that I am walking the path of my heart, and I call on God to show me his face. Every. Single. Day.
Happy new year. Happy new, naked, me.