I remember in grade 4, after we started learning about sex we had a session where a psychologist came in (at least I’m guessing she was one) with a box of smarties and spoke about what sex feels like. She said sex is like sharing yourself with a person and it is very special, so when we are old enough we should only have sex with our husbands or wives. She proceeded to take the box and explain that we start off as a full box of smarties, and every time we have sex with someone we give a piece of us to them, so if we keep having sex with different people… the box will eventually be empty, i.e. we will be a cold hollow hole.
Personally, sexuality, and how and when you have sexual intercourse is completely up to a person, in terms of what they feel is right. If someone is having sex with different people all the time because of self confidence issues or whatnot then i believe that sex is in fact damaging and should be done in a caring loving relationship.
I think sex is something to cherish and something that is wonderful when in love because you not only connect physically, but spiritually and mentally as well, taking your sexual energy and experience to another level.
But I digress. Back to Celibacy. I have a friend of mine, she is 24 and still a virgin. Yes she started off with a religious background wearing celibacy rings and all and saving her virginty for marriage. But she said as she grew older, and moved out of her parents care and control, she still didn’t have sex not because of her religion, just because she didn’t feel it was the right timing. Right now she hardly thinks about sex and in her words “first base does me well, i guess I’m just not that sexually driven.” On the other hand you have people who have had sex and wanted to stop for religious reasons or maybe even a traumatic event.
Also in Japan there was something called celibacy syndrome, where virtual relationships, pornography and social media took up so much time that people were unable to form real intimate and physical relationships.
In a world that is driven by sex, money and power, is celibacy even respected? Well I think it should be, and I also think it should be promoted. I find young girls and boys are involving themselves in sexual activities too soon. My (then)14 year old niece was once telling me how some girls in her class were giving boys head, and now 2 years later she showed me a text screen shot from a 16 year old boy to her friend reading “Wanna fuck till the morning then do it again?”. Firstly i was like, ‘you really gonna do that in your parents house lil man’, but any who. It honestly just scares me how easy sex has become.
Don’t get me wrong, i think it is very important to explore sexuality and your body in general but i do not think it should be made as simple as a handshake. Sex is sacred, it is beautiful, it is leaving yourself completely bare for another person. It is sharing skins. It is supposed to be intimate and passionate. Sex demands respect, from both men and women. Look what happens when we don’t give it the respect it deserves… people start taking it and things like rape happen.
In conclusion society as a whole shouldn’t look at celibate people as stuck up or conservative, or try associate it to a religion. Celibacy should be respected as an independent choice. Men and women need to re-learn to love their bodies, to value them; love and value other peoples bodies, and love and value sex.